LeeboZeebo
Adventures

I live in a world gone mad, I think. It's the only explanation I have for why I can visit a doctor twice, have blood work, an electro- and echo-cardiagram, and a chest x-ray, for about $50 with insurance, yet every time my dog goes to the vet it seems like I go to the poor house, even with the puppy insurance she has.

Yesterday's trip to the vet for Harper yielded a $250 price tag in drugs and analysis alone, and now, since my dog won't eat and has thrown up a few more times, we're being told that the vet may have to put her on an IV drip to rehydrate her (over $100/day), do an x-ray to determine if she's swallowed something that's messing up her system ($200), and then, if there is, a surgery ($Texas).

Few things annoy me as much as finances, and sometimes I have to wonder if we're genuinely getting as much bang for our buck with the current Banfield Wellness Plan as we originally thought. Office visits and spaying was "free," sure, but free office visits just means we feel more inclined to take her in for everything that ever seems the slightest bit wrong, and I don't think I've ever completed a free office visit that didn't come with a price tag for something.

I think what annoys me the most about this current situation is that my vet isn't telling me anything concrete. All the money we dropped on analysis yielded nothing, and the $80 worth of antibiotics and drugs was, and let's just be honest, based on a GUESS. At a certain point I think I'd prefer they just make something up. Man, I am not a dog doctor. I'm not going to know the difference, and at least if you give me an incomprehensible sounding disease I'm going to feel more inclined to hand you my credit card than if you say, "Give your dog this? Or this. Screw it, do both."

Overall I recognize that this is my own annoyance at feeling my wallet lighten this much so early in the month (I mean, c'mon, I have a few more trips to the grocery store before I get paid again, Banfield), and despite what many others have written the place is generally fair to us. Really it just boils down to individual feelings about pets, as well. I'm not the kind of person who actually feels like a dog or a cat is a member of the family, and I never have been. If my girlfriend or my parents were sick, I'd probably just empty out my bank account and go into more debt than I can currently imagine to get them better.

I just won't do that for an animal. I watch Animal Planet, and I see the people who treat their dogs better than their kids, and I find that just as abominable as the folks who starve and beat their dogs. There's a profound difference between your pet and your flesh and blood. I imagine I fall somewhere in between.

GF: *reading an article about a man who rescued a dog from a shark* Lee, would you punch a shark to save Harper?
Lee: Hell no.
GF: What?! But what if she was going to die?!
Lee: For one, I have no idea why we've taken our dog to a shark-infested beach or why she's somehow gotten over her irrational fear of water long enough to poke a fight with a killer fish. For two, I'm not risking my life or limb for that dog. What if that shark turns on me and then I lose a leg? I will forever hate the dog that caused me to live with a stump.
GF: You're selfish and you hate our baby!
Lee: Listen, a shark comes after you, I'll kick it in the eyeball. But the dog? I thought it was ridiculous to buy the dog a Halloween costume. All this goes for bears, too.
GF: I didn't say anything about a bear.
Lee: Yeah, but it's the next logical step. If a bear puts my dog in its mouth, I am going to run away. Actually, if any creature that I'm scared of tries to eat the dog, I'm going to run away.
GF: Hmph! Squirrels?
Lee: Good God, yes, I don't want to mess with the squirrel capable of killing my dog.

That conversation is paraphrased, but it certainly keeps in the spirit of what we talked about. The point is that as much as I enjoy Harper, I'm not going to die for her. I seem to be incapable of loving an animal that much.

This is a pretty good representation of my general emotional disconnect, actually.

Zeebo Out.